So it's my first baby, my first delivery.
I have just spent 14 hours in active labor, with the last hour pushing, shaking, and I'll be honest, puking.
He's finally here!
I'm looking at my son for the first time! He's perfect. Screaming, wrinkly, squish faced, bald little human. I'm in love.
I hear a voice from by my head say "WHO IS THIS?"
I'm out of it and at first think the nurse is referring to the precious new life in my arms. But I was wrong.
SHE WAS TAKING A FREAKING PHONE CALL
While I'm in my post labor calm moment. Meeting the little boy that I have just spent 9 tireless months creating, she answered her cell phone.
She then proceeded prop the phone between her shoulder and cheek like some harassed secretary, scoop up my baby boy, and take him away from me over to be cleaned up and examined.
If I hadn't been so doped up on hormones and out of sorts, I am sure I would have shrieked at her. As it was, I was in no state to defend myself. When you're the new one and they are the "experienced service provider" you don't think you can speak your mind. You assume they know what's best.
After she continues the rather loud phone discussion while checking over my freshly born son, my obstetrician gestured to the other nursing staff and got her kicked out of the room.
While I appreciate his stepping in, I understand that he shouldn't have had to do that. He was in the process of seeing to my needs and didn't need a huge distraction.
If I had had a doula, she would have stepped up
Doulas are there to see to your interests and the interests of your child. They are your coach, your partner, and your guardian.
When something isn't going the way it should, they have the experience and confidence to say what it is needed.
Answering her phone right as my son was born is the equivalent of speaking up in the middle of wedding vows. What she did was disrespectful, rude, and a prime example of horrible bedside manner.
Most nurses won't do this. They treat each birth as if it were their own. They honor it and cherish it. But you can't be certain that you will have the best of the best. But you can hire the best doula possible.
If you are interested in meeting with a doula and learning more about the services they provide (everything from help during pregnancy to night time nanny care of your newborn!) then please check out www.thrivemamacollective.com and they will hook you up!